This situation has not only affected me mental, financially, but most of all for the rest of my life. Here is my story… In March of 2006 I met this guy through a dating site and we talked on the phone for a week before meeting each other. When we finally met, we were inseparable. We did everything together, he bought me any and everything I wanted, he treated me like a queen.

Granted he did have a criminal past, but I didn’t hold that against him. No one is perfect. July 2006 he proposed to me, I didn’t even ask for the proposal. It was a huge surprise, but I did say yes. In February 2007, we bought a house together and was planning for our wedding to be held in September 2008. Well, when we bought our house; my parents were going through a divorce and my mom moved in with us.

In April 2008, my mom received a phone call from one of her part time job supervisors. He asked my mom did he know someone by the name of (he asked for my fiancé) and my mom said yes. So the supervisor goes on to tell my mom my fiancé has been stealing money out of my mom’s part time jobs bank account. My mom was outraged, I was in a state of shock, embarrassed, and hurt. That day my mom kicked my fiancé out of our house.

The next week a police detective showed up at my door looking for my fiancé for stealing money and equipment from his previous 3 jobs. After talking with the police detective my now ex-fiancé not only lied to me about owning his own trucking company, he lied about his criminal record, he has been stealing from these companies for the past year, he lied to me about his whole life! I didn’t see not one clue from his lies. He was doing everything right. He went to work, paid the bills, didn’t go out with friends or his family at all. From his actions and lies he is now in prison.

As for me I’m 23 now, my house is now in foreclosure and I had to file bankruptcy because we not only had a house together we had a truck, loans, and money lost from paying for the wedding that never happen. There is a whole lot more to this story, but it would just be to long. I not only suffer from having any type of relationship with a guy, cause I fear they will hurt me just like my ex-fiancé did, but I sometimes blame myself for this. Why did this happen to me? I was never the type to let a man get that close to me, and I let that all go away when I met him. Never again will I let that happen. Men are jerks! Ladies don’t let your guard down even if you find prince charming.

I am a 51 year old widow. Three years ago I was introduced by a friend to a widower that was 19 years older than me. He treated me like a lady. He would take me to Atlantic City (which I found out later was free for him, because he was using his friend's comps).

One day while at the shore I got a phone call that I needed to call someone on business. He got so angry that you would have thought I had did something awful. I was scared and cried. I said to take me home, but the rest of the day he made me walk along the beach, but not talking. I let that go.

I bought myself a used Corvette, and he screamed and yelled at me like we were married or lived together. He wouldn't see me for days because of my purchase. I thought most men would say "wow, take me for a ride in it, or can I drive it." No, not him.

We went shopping the first Christmas, and he wanted a Movado watch. I paid around $1000 for it, which I hadn't done for a man ever before. When I mentioned my gift, he said "we'll come back some other time." I said no we aren't, so we went into a jewelry store, where he had me purchase the diamond ring, and then he wrote a check to reimburse me.

Other times we would go to a drive through, and he wouldn't offer to pay, and would let me pay for his food. He would go with me to the grocery store and put a friend's birthday card with my groceries, and stupid me would end up paying for it. It only got worse.

His granddaughter who is 24 was living with him at first, and unknown to me, was a drug addict. One of his daughter's had passed away years ago with alcoholism (the girl's mother). His other daughter is some executive vice president of a cable company, and didn't even want to meet me, ignored me, hated me, because she was afraid he would die, and I might get his money (by the way he had money, is in stocks heavily). Her name was on his home, and he said his will stated everything goes to her, so I don't know what she was worried about! I never got invited to any family functions or anything, just like I was a piece of trash.

I forgot to mention in his earlier years he was an alcoholic, was a bartender and loved the women. He left his wife for another woman for several months, then ran around on the girlfriend, then his wife took him back, and he still ran around on her. I'm glad I didn't know him then! Well when I would ever tell him how selfish he was, or how mean he was, his face got really red, and he would scream at me at the top of his lungs. He told me once he would love to knock my head off of my shoulders.

The latest is me being down in the dumps, and calling him while drinking wine. I guess I spoke the truth, and he screamed at me over the phone saying "f" you, and called me a whore. He hasn't called me at all to see how I am doing (since I am very depressed in my life at this time), and can just easily say he was lying and never loved me like he said. It's like this man has absolutely no feelings at all. He only cares for himself and his daughter and granddaughters. My heart is broken.

Ladies, if you ever meet this 70 year old man in the Philadelphia area who has white hair and gorgeous blue eyes, run as fast as you can, before you are hurt and tortured mentally. He had physically abused his wife when she was living, but never touched me, because he knew I would have him arrested.

Hi …

Here is my story which demonstrates why I believe men are jerks.

I am an attractive, young-looking shapely, fun woman in my 40s … My appearance has been described as anything from cute to gorgeous. Since I divorced I have dated too numerous to mention guys who have been "slow", i.e. slow in the physical intimacy department. Like most women, I try to cut my men some slack and let things happen naturally. Sadly in most instances, I have found men will STAY in a "buddy" relationship a long time (i.e. a year or more) where they are not initiating sex or anything close, for reasons I don’t fully understand. Like many women, I thought that these men were being respectful and eventually our relationship would lead to something deeper and long lasting. I was so wrong!

In one case, my purpose was to provide companionship and make the other girlfriend jealous. I found out later he even gave us the same gifts at birthdays and Christmas. In another case, initial late nights of endless kissing and cuddling gave way in two months to a call every Tuesday and a date every Saturday that went on ’til I put my needs for at least some level of kissing and physical touching on the line. Eventually he squirmed away and wanted to be just friends (I don’t know how this differed from what we were when we were dating but I’ve not heard from him so I guess that is what just friends is). Still another man took six months to kiss me, then when I wouldn’t buy an annuity policy he was selling, it was over and I never heard from him again. The latest: initial passion the first month has been replaced by him being "sick" every time we could possibly be alone together the second month. Stomach aches, head aches, allergies … every time! Amazingly he cures easily and quickly when we are out in public in a group setting.

I have tried to show a little class and am not jumping anybody’s bones here. I definitely wait for cues, signals, and overtures, but even when the timing is right or when I suggest I’d be open to a more intimate relationship, these men are just not able to perform a passionate kiss and caress my breasts or slide my hand down their pants.

Ladies don’t waste your time thinking that a lack of physical affection is all about a guy’s respect for you as you will be WAITING a long time for your "prince" to give you the love and affection you totally deserve. As you can see above, I have made this mistake multiple times (which I suppose speaks to choices I have made in men that haven’t been the wisest relationship choices). At least I’m learning more quickly! It’s one thing to wait for the right time for physical intimacy (i.e., sexual intercourse), but when you can see that you are not getting emotional or physical connection from him (yet he continues to call …), he is wasting your precious time so take my advice and MOVE ON!

Sadder but wiser in Salt Lake City

I met this guy in high school…we were in a ton of classes together. One Day he asks me to go out with him… It was that day before Valentines day. So sweet! So any ways we ended up together for 4+ years. Everything was going great He asked me to marry him, I got a great night job. Then, behind my back my cousin and her best friend start going over to his house. He starts dating her friend…and a couple of weeks later he CALLS me and tells me that he never loved me and he was leaving me for someone else and to give him back his ring. I gave him back the ring….and would you know that a month after that he traded in my ring for a bigger one and ask him to marry her and they did. (about a year after that he told my cousin that he shouldn't have done that and he should have stayed with me) WHAT EVER JERK!!!!!!!!!

When I first met him, he was very attentive, and always called when he said he would. After a while we moved in together and that is when it all changed.

Living together means you have to pay bills together. For some reason, he challenged me each time a bill came up, and tried to get out of it. For one of his reasons, He constantly complained that his job was soooo much better than mine, and that he makes more, and that he works so much harder than me (I never once tried to "compete" with him regarding our jobs)… He got fired from his job for disobeying direct orders and tried to blame it on them. He was always quick to blame anyone and anything but himself. He always bragged how he worked so hard but later when I talked to his co-workers, they said he was the most lazy and manipulative person they'd ever worked with.

Almost on a daily basis, I was accused that I was cheating on him and talking to "so many other guys" when this was far from the truth. When I saw his mail on his myspace account he talked to about ten girls on a regular basis and called at least five of them all the time! I didn't get it. Sorry for me but I shut down and hardly talked to any of my real friends. He told me I was a disgusting slut because I was in the military for 7 years (honorably discharged) and said that "all military girls are total sluts." He even went as far as to delete numbers from my phone of many of my male contacts and deleted people when he hacked into my email/myspace.

He took it upon himself to track every webpage I visited and even downloaded a program to get the passwords to everything I had a password to and checked that all the time before I deleted it from my computer.

He was violent with me. He used to scream in my face about how I was a slut because a guy emailed me and told me in the end of his letter "talk to you later beautiful". He told me I was a liar but I felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells because no matter WHAT I DID HE WOULD TWIST IT INTO SOMETHING CRAZY!! I'd want to go get some groceries (which I always purchased, and always cooked for him) and he'd say "Who are you gonna have sex with?" and call my phone while I was gone demanding to know what I was doing. I never once cheated on him or even wanted to cheat on him. I was blind, stupid and in love.

To top it all off, he totalled my beautiful car that I had paid off for over a year and spent time, money and lots of TLC on. He was stupid and turned left in front of someone who was going straight. I was furious but got an insurance settlement and for some reason he wanted me to give him a big chunk of it, saying that he deserves some of the money because he was driving… HOW STUPID! I never gave him a DIME! When I got a new car, he told me that it was stupid and how I looked stupid in it. He never had a nice word to say.

He was violent with me as well. He liked to hold me down against my will and scream in my ear. He liked to pick me up and shove me against a wall and drop me to the floor for things like getting a text message from a friend across the country. He destroyed a wall and a door in our apartment after we broke up the first time and hacked into my messenger and read a few messages I exchanged with an old friend. The police came that night and now he is living with his mommy rent free and bill free and there is a no contact order issued.

If I have to, I will testify against him in court. I can't believe I let myself be treated so bad for so long and just tried to think "oh it will get better." Because of him, my credit is ruined, my car was totalled, my psyche is totally messed up and who knows if I will ever love someone.

He's the biggest manipulator, liar and evil person on the planet.

About five months ago my husband of almost ten years just decided he wanted us to separate, he needed a "break". I was recovering from breast cancer at the time. Since I’ve moved out, I have found out that his "break" has included an affair he was having prior to my leaving and then many, many women since. He decided he wanted a woman with "normal" breasts. He has now become an internet "predator". He is an active member of date.com, moredate.com, maturedatelink.com, eharmony.com and match.com. He’s seeing so many women that I’m amazed he still has time for his business. This man is seriously evil. I just cannot believe I loved him with all my heart for so many years and he threw me away like yesterday’s newspaper! His name should be in the dictionary beside the word "jerk".

I really hate guys right now! Seriously, most of them are just after one thing. Even guys who seem really smart, kind, respectable–the guys you think want to do the right thing and show some fucking respect–can be the biggest JERKS you’ve ever met.

These guys try to manipulate you into sleeping with them by getting you drunk, or, taking things back to your/their house to ‘hang out’, or, saying you should just sleep over because you’ve had too much to drink but not to worry because you will just ‘cuddle’. Then they push it with you all night trying to have sex and are surprised when it’s 3am and you say you want to sleep. Then when you don’t want to go over again because, say, you’re leaving the area in 3 days and you don’t want to start something, plus you’re getting the impression they’re not the sweet and reasonable guy you thought they were to begin with, they start letting their true colors out.

Their manipulation techniques are unbelievably fine tuned… I wonder if they read about them in some ‘how to get laid’ book, or just from trial and error. The next night you seem them again, group movie night you’ve already bought tickets for (so unfortunately you have to go). Afterward you all go to a bar, but you drive your own car over there because there’s no fucking way you’re going to this guys house afterward. All night he shows hints of being a possessive bastard, even though you haven’t even had ONE HONEST DATE WITH HIM YET. Then he’s surprised when you say you’re going home: "I thought you were going to drop me off", "Okay, well if you need a ride I can drop you off now, I’m tired and I want to go home (and it’s 1am, it’s not like you’re bailing out early)." Then he gets mad and reveals it’s not really about him going home, it’s about him having another chance to ‘score’ (duh, so can’t he take the hint that you’re not interested???).

Now you start getting into a fight with this guy you hardly know, over something that so clearly is not worthy of a fight (any jury would find him guilty of trying to pressure you into having sex with him, which is obviously wrong). Now, even though you’re not usually the type to get into a fight with people, you are so pissed you’re about to punch this guy. He’s in your face, staring you down, dead serious. He’s employing classic asshole techniques like CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTING YOU AND NOT LETTING YOU GET ONE SENTENCE OUT.

Then he puts you down, telling you you’re a big girl and can make your own decisions (which is annoying either way he could mean it: the way i think he meant it, that I’m old enough to have casual sex without my mommy’s permission, OR, that I’m old enough to decide if I do or don’t want to have sex with him (which, it’s not like this is something which one only gains with maturity, like at any age you need the guys permission to say NO?). Then when you point out he’s being condescending by implying you’re immature (or wtf he was talking about), he denies ever saying it. Then you push the point. Then he tells you you just don’t understand what he’s say (because you’re immature AND A DUMB IDIOT TOO RIGHT??).

Then you try to start from a different angle (even doing him the favor of going back to how you FELT 10 minutes ago, when the reality is now you think he’s such an asshole you wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot poll after how he’s talked to you). You tell him you think he’s an attractive guy, that if you were staying around you’d want to date him, but you’re leaving in three days and don’t want to start a relationship. Now he brings up the fact that you slept over the night before. The whole thing about you not really being thrilled to sleep over, and him having to convince (beg you to) is now lost on him. Because you did it before you are OBLIGATED to now do it again. Limits and boundaries only move one way with these ones. There is no, "hey I was drunk and didn’t want to drive home, that’s why I slept over your place, but it’s not something I want to do again until we get to know each other a little better" thing.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE THIRD DATE RULE?!?!?! Funny I used to feel constrained by that rule, that it was somehow a social norm that was encouraging me to have sex before I was ready, and now, ironically, I seek its refuge. The conversation ends. You hug (ten foot poll traded in for the fact you are SO upset you really need to hug someone). You walk out in tears. Pissed at this guy. Pissed at yourself for even putting yourself in this position. Pissed at yourself for allowing yourself to get sucked into a fight with him. Pissed at men for being SO damn disrespectful. Pissed at yourself for ordering a cosmo (they are too strong, and you’re hung over the next day from just that one)… the moral of the story is DO NOT GO OVER TO SOMEONE’S HOUSE OR INVITE THEM TO YOUR HOUSE UNLESS YOU ARE SURE YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM, otherwise you’re just asking for trouble. .