I am young and ignorance seems to follow, but there is one thing that I have learned in my 27 years. Men are the most selfish breed of animal, or as I like to refer to them manimal, on the face of God’s good green planet. They think about themselves all day long, all of the time. If they do in fact seem to break free form there selfish ways, like perhaps buying you flowers, telling you that you look nice without having to ask, recognizing how hard you work, telling you that they love your laugh, I assure you this is all a scam. They just want to sleep with you, or for you to give them a B.J., or for you to snap out of your bad mood so that he can relax while he cons you into giving him a B.J. on the way to the party. You do it because he is being sweet, you do it because you think that he will think that you are sexy and adventurous, and what happens when you get to the party? He ignores you, he drinks beer and talks over you, he talks about his hobbies whatever they may be and he doesn’t include you. If you walk over to him he may put his arm around you, he may kiss you on the cheek, but he will not say a word, or look at you at all, you are purely there for show, and then he will make you drive home, regardless of the fact that you haven’t been out for 7 months and he goes twice a month at least. Admit women, men need us to take care of them; we need them for that occasional ounce of affection that they give us. But man o man, do we have to work hard for it. I am married to a struggling musician and we have two kids. I work full time, do most of the house work, make dinner every night, and I support him and his music all of the time. I break my back and work as hard as I can because I love my family and want what is best for them. I slap on a smile regardless of how I ache inside. I have sacrificed most of my person to get done what needs to be done and he never bats an eye. And why do I do this you ask; he is a good father to his children and can be loving and sweet to me (sometimes). I would be working just as hard without him, if not harder, so don’t think me a fool. My biggest fear is that I will be sucked dry, every last once of me consumed in that smile of mine, welcoming menopause with excitement as it will give me an excuse to go crazy. Letting everything that I have bottled up to avoid those endless power trips and ridiculous go no where fights where he ends up twisting my thoughts and words into a big ball of “you don’t care about me” bull shit. Men-o-pause. A pause from men. I can’t wait. I just hope that I make it.

Sincerely yours,

Blah … ;P

I was a girl who was young and  apparently “in love”. I had been dating this guy for a few months, but nothing too serious. New Years rolls around and I decided it was okay to take our relationship to the next level. We slept together that night. It was wonderful. I felt like I had finally found someone who sincerely cared about me. I was, OF COURSE, wrong. The next day, he calls me to deliver one very specific heart breaking message. He told me he didn’t care about me, he didn’t care if he ever saw me again, wanted nothing to do with me, and led me on the whole time just to have sex. Also, he had told me the night before he wasn’t drunk, so the sex was not alcohol induced. He was drunk, as he had finally admitted, and had no feelings of me besides “just some bitch I boned.” Furthermore, my period was almost 3 weeks late. I phoned him to tell him I could possibly be pregnant. Again, he broke my heart. He insisted that, if I was pregnant, he was going to put his lawyers into action. He wasn’t going to let me have rights over our child. He told me I didn’t have the capability of being a mother EVEN THOUGH I had a job, went to school, and still made time for HIM. He was broke, jobless, and made no effort to include me in his life. The only good news I have to deliver in this story is, I wasn’t pregnant, thank god!  So are men jerks? Of course.

My name is M from Michigan and I have recently dated an arab (from Saudi Arabia),  I tried to ignore stereotypes that they are controlling, abusive and disrespectful but 3 weeks into the relationship he wanted me to admit i was his property LITERALLY….. and he mentally abused me so much that I left him….. ladies, you got to realize there are better guys out there….i got called a bit*ch and psycho and so on but I know I’m not and I will never date an arab again….most of them do not respect women, they spend some money on you and think that they own you….next thing you know, they are screaming at you and two seconds later apologizing….. thank god i’m out of that shit! watch out for these assholes!!!!!! and know how to play the game,,,,,once you realize you’re better than taking any guys shit…they’ll see your confidence and melt over you! he’s calling me now, but i will never answer. take care!!!!!!

(Editorial note: Jerks come from all cultures. – RP)

Well, I feel bad for all of the stories on the website, but this one takes the cake.  I dated Steve for a year before I found out about his secret life.  He had a one year old child that he ran away from.  He told me that he just wasnt ready to deal with this mistake that he had made.  Three months later after we lived together I found cocaine in our apartment.  Not only did he have a child but he had a drug problem.  Just be aware ladies…they will surprise you when you think that you know them inside and out.  I graduated college with a 3.8 and am very ambitious.  Don’t let these losers take over your life.  He ended up leaving me to go back to his child where he still battles with his "bad problems".  Don’t be afraid to let go and know that there will be someone out there that will treat you right.  Go for the nice guys!

Here is my contribution to why I know the majority of men are jerks.  I tried an experiment at an online dating site by posting two profiles (both without photos).  In both postings I wrote up the same basic personality traits, interests, and what I was searching for in a man.  The only difference was that in one I said I was divorced and lived in an apartment, and in the second profile I said I was a widow and that my house was paid off.

Well, golly gee, can you guess when posting received the most replies?  You got it!  The "widow" who owned her home received no less than ten responses within the first 24 hours.  And the divorced lady who lived in an apartment?  She received one reply during a one-week period.  And here’s the clincher:  the guy who replied to the divorcee wrote that he was not really interested because he refused to get involved with anyone who didn’t show their photo.  And who was he? He was the first one to reply to the "widow" (who also didn’t show a photo), and said that he was ready, willing and able to meet with her any place at anytime.  And men claim that women are dishonest gold-diggers?

So what did that prove?  It proved that to most men, women are nothing more than a nurse, a purse and/or sex toy.

Before my "experiment", I did meet two guys online that I briefly dated.  Both wanted sex the first day we met, and neither one of them spent any time at all attempting to find out anything about me….who I was, what I wanted, etc.  It was all about them and jumping in the sack.

I am now going solo and am so much better off spending time with friends and forgetting about the dating scene.  I don’t have to worry about a guy being horney all the time, critical of me and my appearance, wanting me to live my life through him, putting up with his laziness and expecting me to wait on him hand and foot while he falls asleep on the couch.  No thanks!

Ok well….Here is My Story.  Trust me this is just one of the many A-hole stories attributing to men in this world.  This man I have known for over 2 ½ years, been trying to talk to for some time and was told was “too busy with work and the children to have time for me” decided to finally fit me in last Friday.  How nice of him.  Went to dinner and had a blast.  Never had such a great conversation with someone that is 14+ years older than me.  (don’t worry still cute).  Well I asked him if he wanted to come hang out at my place and watch a movie (and that was seriously my only intention).  Minute he comes in, he heads towards me and starts kissing me.  No complaints at the time.  I have really liked him for quite some time, and this is sort of an add on to a previous situation between up around Valentines Day.  Well after some hot an heavy heat, it dies down and we go to watch the movie and condensate for a bit.  Gets a foot rub from me (and I never do that) and then he proceeds to walk me back to my bedroom.  Well there is gets a lot better (or worse after it happens) and it does not go 100% but certainly got lose.  After all that we try one more time to watch a movie only to watch him freak out and tell me that he has a girlfriend already in another state.  Then tells me that he liked it, but makes up every excuse in the book why it could never be real between us.  I find out just today (6/28) that I am not the only local girl and that he swings both ways.  How sweet.  WHAT A JERK!!!  And this is my screw up (because I was thinking that he needed someone to treat him right and I was single and so was he), but now I have to see him 5 days a week.  CATCH MY DRIFT!!!!  What is a woman to do?  I am so sour and upset right now and feel so used.  MEN ARE JERKS!!!!!

You have been telling everyone that you just don’t understand why I have filed for divorce. Let me refresh your mind.

You/Your:

1. didn’t validate any of my feelings
2. made me question my reality
3. turned things around to be all my fault
4. constant disrespect
5. constant yelling
6. intent to dominate me
7. intent to control me
8. problems were caused by someone/something else
9. need to hang out in bars and strip joints
10. kept me off balance and baffled
11. made me walk on eggshells
12. inappropriate and unacceptable behaviors (sleazy pornography and strippers)
13. dictated to me how I should think and feel
14. constant criticism of me
15. cruelty
16. dishonesty
17. impulsiveness
18. pessimistic outlook
19. nasty power moves
20. are paranoid and suspicious
21. telling me I am crazy
22. critical of me and others
23. are ferocious
24. are hostile
25. have an arrogant demeanor
26. think you are better than everyone else
27. are unfairly competitive
28. think you are special
29. think you are perfect and infallible
30. only pay attention to stuff that affects you personally
31. are manipulative
32. have a lack of empathy
33. go off on tangents
34. judge others as wrong
35. moral intelligence, which is at a level of a 5-6 year old
36. are envious
37. are better than everyone else
38. are contemptuous of others
39. are cruel in little ways as well as big ways
40. either attack or withdraw
41. will trash anyone for your own self-justification
42. spew a load of bile, abuse, contempt and threats
43. think you need to punish me frequently
44. can’t see that you have a problem – it is someone else who has the problem, theyneed to change.
45. don’t want to change, the world needs to change
46. don’t like authority figures
47. are vindictive
48. are backstabbing
49. are evasive
50. are cynical
51. feel entitled to what you can take
52. expect privileges
53. opinions are better than anyone else’s
54. feel entitled to exploit other people
55. have a "gloom and doom" attitude. Henny Penny…the sky is falling
56. are spiteful
57. are impulsive
58. are unpredictable
59. have no remorse or regard for the rights of others
60. pit people against others
61. twist my words and actions
62. are ruthless, demanding, and cruel
63. are a control freak
64. are a pathological liar
65. constantly complain and criticize
66. have frequently outbursts of anger and rage
67. have a Jeckyl/Hyde personality
68. throw childish tantrums
69. are not satisfied with anything
70. are arrogant
71. use haughty stunts while raging
72. think He/She/It/They/Them/You are the problem
73. have an "you owe me" attitude
74. think you don’t have to follow the rules
75. are in denial
76. use verbal jabs passing them off as jokes
77. won’t allow me to have my own thoughts
78. accuse and blame me for everything
79. trivialize my job and ideas
80. don’t allow me to talk, you interrupt me or talk on top of me
81. you have a sense of entitlement
82. undermine and squelch my ideas/suggestions as not right
83. over indulge in gambling, drinking and strip joints
84. need instant gratification
85. call me very disrespectful vulgar names
86. think only you are important
87. think only you are right
88. think only you have feelings
89. think only you matter in this world
90. think you work harder than me
91. think you are sicker than me
92. slam doors when angry
93. break things when angry
94. think your anger is due to someone else causing it
95. smoke in the house to damage my lungs
96. moved out 5 times
97. belittle me
98. humiliate me in front of your friends
99. terrorize me
100. remind me how stupid I am
101. spill things and make me clean them up
102. know how to do things better than me
103. remind me daily that my job is not as important as your job
104. threatened to take my kids from me
105. threatened to make my kids hate me
106. told me I couldn’t make it on my own
107. two strippers whose real names were –Shawna and Kim
108. your girlfriend, Tori
109. lack of the words "I am sorry"
110. your need of spending our anniversary with strippers then lying about it
111. wanted things done your way, or it wasn’t right
112. wanted things done for you right now
113. are the first to point out others flaws
114. are a very mean person
115. suck up to people so they will think you are so nice
116. are a pathological liar
117. act superior to me
118. think it was your job to correct me
119. are conceited, argumentative, and selfish
120. made me feel worthless
121. had no conscience
122. are an authoritarian
123. liked to wake me up in the middle of the night so I would be tired the next day
124. liked to take things away from me
125. thought the things in the house was only yours, no one else could use them
126. always think you have some deadly disease, too bad you didn’t
127. expected me to be devastated when you withdrew from me..I wasn’t
128. have a dismissive attitude of other’s feelings, wishes, needs, and concerns
129. blame others for your circumstances and your failures

I will no longer allow any of these behaviors. You will assuredly deny each and every one of these things and insinuate that I need to see a psychiatrist. Go ahead, you can not hurt me anymore than you already have.

I was in this marriage for what I thought was love. Then I was in this marriage because I was stuck. Now I am out of this marriage for myself.

p.s. You Are A Jerk

Me again. After reading all the submissions, I don’t feel so bad about my situation.  Sure I’m lonely, (even about a relationship that was in hindsight a con job). But I didn’t lose too much $$$$$(some).  And I didn’t have a child with the BASTARD (thank goodness he had a vasectomy. GEE WHY?).  So I don’t have to keep in touch with him like his poor ex. Talked to her by the way.  EYE OPENING! Should have done it sooner.  Don’t know if I believe all the "stuff" but when his kids (who he acted like the perfect Father with) , suddenly don’t want to see him, you wonder why? She said, one daughter thought he "touched" her in an "strange way"!!!!!!  Another daughter was somewhat shunned.  To make a long story short, he had an attitude at her Doctors appt.  Had such a bad attitude with the Ex, he took it out on the child.  "I won’t bring you home to visit UNTIL YOUR MOTHER shows me some respect!" I was told. Cried with him last Fathers Day when neither child called him.  This year? "Happy Fathers Day M* M* of *****, CT!!!!! (Bet its the same "lack of respect).  This year, DON’T wonder why.